May 17 – Well, the good news is I am recertified or perhaps “refreshed” is a better term. Last night for the second time in four years (the first for their splashy new digs), I darkened the door of the MOHA offices. Like everyone else, my once “permanent / for life” coaches certification had to be renewed. The move from Intermediate to Development 2 (D2) nomenclature afforded the OMHA to commute the life sentence to three years – no grandfathering here. I actually don’t mind the time as our “instructor” last night was Gary Hay who I have known for years and he always has stories to tell. I do mind the $60 thought as that is a pretty steep tariff to pay versus the “MOHA guys” who get it as a freebie. Speaking of which –

Slow news day – On days like today, some things drop in your lap and reading the erstwhile bear slayer’s blog, he made mention of the motions being put forward for the Oakville MOHA AGM. Somewhat bored and always curious, I checked them out to see what the cabal was up to this time.

As Arte Johnson would say “Verrrrry Interesting!” Read it carefully with a complete grasp of the English language.  The relevant portion is the proposed first motion.

Current Wording:

5.3. Qualification. No person shall be qualified to be a Director if ….. :

5.3.4. He or she is not a Member of the Corporation and does not become a Member of the Corporation within ten (10) days after his or her election.

Proposed Wording:

5.3. Qualification. No person shall be qualified to be a Director if ……:

5.3.4. At the time immediately prior to being elected as a director, he or she is not and has not been a Member of the Corporation.

For those with English as a second language or who did not have Mrs. Mogk as their grade school teacher pounding grammatical construction into their heads for eight years, I offer a dictionary definition for AND which clearly shows it as a linking conjunction joining the two conditions as required elements.

And - conjunction

1. (used to connect grammatically coordinate words, phrases, or clauses) along or together with; as well as; in addition to; besides; also; moreover.

2. added to; plus: 2 and 2 are 4.

3. then: He read for an hour and went to bed.

4. also, at the same time: to sleep and dream.

5. then again; repeatedly: He coughed and coughed.

While the professed intent is to:

 “The proposed change would limit the ability of a person with no connection to the MOHA from being able to serve as a board director, thus ensuring that all directors have current and/or previous experience with the MOHA in one or more capacities.

The literal interpretation of the motion excludes anyone who is not currently a member from becoming a director without now first becoming a member of the “Corporation”. Technically, past service is not relevant in view of the use of the “and” conjunction.

In other words someone like say “yours truly” who is not currently a member, but who has lived in Oakville for 20+ years, been a coach for 15+ years, was a board of directors member for 10+ years, and VP of House League for eight years – IS NOT ELIGIBLE TO BE ELECTED AS A DIRECTOR! Was this intentional, (hilarious) or just another classic boo boo.

Wonder if anyone will have the stones to own up to this, and include a friendly amendment at the AGM to replace the AND with what I hope was intended as OR, or the broader AND, OR. Otherwise, this is not “continuous improvement”, but rather “Enhanced Exclusion”.  You can read the motions here if you want rather than going hunting on the site.

Snappers – I too must admit to watching reach for the Top as classic Canadian television. I object to the characterization of those worthy contestants as “nerdish” as I believe at one time I too aspired to be a game show celebrity.

Weapons – In Toronto it is now OK to bring your knife into court – as long as it is a kirpin and meets certain conditions.  That should make everyone feel better to know that they have been stabbed by a ceremonial knife – wonder if it creates only ceremonial wounds. Sorry folks – not a big fan of double standards.

National Crisis – Canada loses in world quarter finals to Slovakia! Does this mean another summit or are we going to rationalize as it is meaningless since only the Olympics count which gives us another two years of bragging rights.

Casino blues – The OLG is looking to Vegas experts to tell them where to put a “world class” casino. I could tell them, as could the 80,000 people with employment related to the horse racing industry who are getting royally screwed over.

Arby’s – gives a whole new meaning to the idea of “finger food”! Yuch! Oh for a digit ally enhanced sandwich.

And on that note – call it a day.

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May 14 – Back in town and on the go after a week’s holidays. Does not appear that I missed much. We came back from Carriage Hill on Friday as “The Boys” had a tournament on Saturday. A one day special. It was special as Becky brought out Ben and Lily so she could watch baseball and Jane and I got to watch “The Kids”. Of course Jane got Lily and I got to chase Ben all over Hell’s half acre all day. He made it through to the end of their fourth game (semi-finals) but by then he was done! And if truth be told, so was I. Oh for the energy of an (almost) two year old. Good thing I could lounge around Sunday and rest up – but it was fun. I guess having my undivided attention for game five – the finals – did not help as the Pirates walked the plank to an early exit under the mercy rule. That is the problem with some of these tournaments that if you don’t get a big team turn out the tournament collapses the divisions and a Super Series or A/B team ends up dropping into a lower division pool and “cleaning up”. Which is really no fun for either side. Besides, the five games in one day makes for a long day for both players and fans alike – especially if you are on Grandson duty and can’t rest up in the beer garden.

Note to self – at the next outing, remember to spray sunscreen on feet when wearing sandals to avoid those attractive but somewhat painful decorative red stripes.

Carriage Hill – is a nice place to go and not far away. It is close to Barrie and Orillia (if you are a Rama fan – I’m not) and for a week’s stay there is usually enough to keep you occupied with golf (or skiing in winter) next door and swimming pool, sauna, hot tub, games room and exercise room on site. Was not impressed this go around as all of the on-site amenities were not amenable as they were out of service for maintenance, repair and upgrade. Usually is the facilities are out of commission it will show that on the RCI booking schedule so you can decide if tou want to still go or not. Unfortunately this was not mentioned during our booking as if it had been I would have gone elsewhere. Not sure we will get anywhere or anything from it but it will be a major complaint in our post stay assessment questionnaires.

Already – With today the 14^th. It means I am only two weeks away from my bean Town visit on the US Memorial Day weekend. It also means this coming weekend is the Victoria Day weekend with a holiday Monday so there is not much “working” May left but still a lot to get done. I also have to get my triennial D2 recert / refresher done this Wednesday so that looks like a work from home day coming up.I also have to check for any HTCP recerts as that is due again this year as well. Have to give some serious consideration to whether I bother with that one or not but I would hate to lose it. It hopefully won’t be too long before I am back at it in the Timbit world on the “second time round” circuit.

Hockey – is a dying breed for 2011/12 season. While I did watch a chunk of most games last week (no hot tub or sauna), I have basically petered out on the enthusiasm meter for this year. Of the four teams left, the only one that I originally picked in round one is LA and the only reason I went that route was in hopes they would beat Vancouver! All my other picks or teams I was interested in have done the toilet bowl swirl so stuff on the PVR is looking better.

Unfortunately – the end of the NHL is somewhat in sync with the end of the TV season for most shows so it looks like we are heading into the summer entertainment doldrums. With shades of “Who shot J. R., it looks like the shows that are “coming back”, i.e., renewed are heavily into the let’s leave them hanging mode. Case in point last night we watched the season finale of the original CSI, not realizing until it was too late that it was the finale although I am not sure we could have done anything differently. The episode ends up with more in flux than the whole season beforehand with main characters involved in a shooting (on the receiving end results unknown) a (grand) kidnapping, and a resignation (which you have to believe will be rescinded as well as some other stuff.Good plan guys, keep em coming back for more.

Never fear though, I think I still have a good chunk of Mad Men to go as well as Game of Thrones Season 2. Mad Men I am getting a bit concerned about as the last couple episodes have been way out there and it could be a major case of “jump the shark”. GOT – if you have not read Book 2, I will guarantee that YOU ARE COMPLETELY LOST. The plot on this is so complicated and convoluted that even though I just finished reading the five books a couple of months ago, I have to struggle to bring everything back into perspective and with all due respect to the average  viewer, there is no way you could make a coherent story out of this without “having read the book” as the Beatles sing.

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May 10 - Posted on May 10, 2012by minorhockeyfan